Today is the first day in over a week that I've been able to stay awake longer than just four hours.  I think it may have had an effect on my mental state of mind.  Getting home from work I took some meds and thought to myself, "I can't believe the Fargo Marathon is only two days away and I won't be able to run it."  Only one of those is true.  The Fargo Marathon is still four days away, and even though I've been signed up for about four months, I will not be able to participate in the event.  This will be the first time since the beginning of the Fargo Marathon event (2005) that I won't be part of it in some way other than on the sidelines as a spectator and supporter.  
You put in time to prepare yourself for this one day - in the gym, outside, participating in other runs to get you mentally prepared to take in the crowd atmosphere that make these events so special and of course reuniting with other runners you've met in the past and sharing stories of what the training has been like and catching up as you may only see them this one time a year.  
In early May, I started to come down with a sickness.  I've had too many people ask about what kind of surgery or injury I've had that is keeping me out of the race -- it's actually a respiratory infection that is going to keep me off the course this year.  Without describing it in full detail because you may not enjoy me doing that - it's plain and simple the worst sickness I have ever come down with.  My body is as weak as it's ever been; I get tired very easily (probably because that's about all I have been doing for the last ten days is sleeping); I've had flu like symptoms, similar symptoms to strep throat, head aches like I've never encountered in my life that would force me into a state of mind that would for better terms, shut my brain down.  If I didn't, my entire body would feel like it was going to fall apart.  
With respiratory infection, whether it'd be a virus or not, it's definitely nothing I can mess around with, especially running a full marathon of 26.2 miles during the recovery process.  
This would have been a special run for me for many reasons, but with unfortunate timing, weakness in the body and the fact an infection could still be lingering around in my lungs - that is all it takes to drain my energy for one - and it's also a couple of reasons why a marathon event is not in the cards to play this coming weekend.  
It was a little tough to handle at first, but quickly the clouds cleared (my head ache didn't) and common sense thankfully set in telling me there's plenty of time to do other runs - don't risk it for just one event.  It's amazing how something you learned from high school comes back to you, even when your thinking is the worst it's been in a long time.  "No matter how bad you think you've got it, just know somebody's got it worse."   My teacher, coach and now outside of school, good friend Steve Philipp taught us that pretty much every day in class.  Especially if someone was complaining.  He'd belt that out and remind us how good we really have it despite the fact we can complain about little things that happen in our life.  This to me was a little thing, that is lasting a little too long -- but hey, it could have turned into something much worse if I didn't go in and tried to be Mr. Tough Guy and keep my name and body in the race Saturday in Fargo. 

I will be there though, on the sidelines, two of my favorite runners: my parents.  Steve & Bev Philion will keep the Philion name alive in our Fargo Marathon event "streak" as they have been a part of it each year too!  I've got other friends who will be taking part as well.  Yes it will be tough to stand on the sidelines at this event after months of training - but I'm always up for new experiences.  This will be a first, but surely not one I had planned.  It's just the way it goes.  
Good luck to all running in Fargo this weekend!  We'll see you at the finish line.